i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
