If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
