...so i touched it.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
