he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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