I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
