I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
accomplished twins. life is a go
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
