I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
