Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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