Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
