Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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