I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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