After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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