What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
