You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
