Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
