your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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