So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My cat gives me a boner
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
