I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
