hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
