i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
