We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
