Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
