your parents love me but you hate me
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
