Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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