Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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