when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize