it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
