people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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