Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
