you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
