youre lurking in front of me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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