her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
