I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.