its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
