call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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