I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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