I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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