Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
