Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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