You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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