It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
