Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
