In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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