I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I want her autograph on my taint
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
