He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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