kristin has been a bad kristin
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
