A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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