My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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