Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
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