We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
