you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
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