your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
