the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
