no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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