Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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