This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
