sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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