So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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