How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
