weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
