Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Is it penis luge time yet?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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