i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
